Okay, this may feel random to some of you, but it’s sort of a tradition I’ve got here. I’d like to interrupt your post-Thanksgiving shopping stress with a little tale of poverty and capitalism and hope.

And then… I’d like to make some of you an offer.

My partner and were full time aspiring writers in Los Angeles for many years. For a good chunk of it, she was far more successful than me, although I was bringing in bare-bones rent money with some of my film journalism and movie reviews, selling an occasional short story here and there. Even sold my first book for a very small advance. We weren’t living great, but we managed our balancing act and we were happy.

The problem with a balancing act, of course, is it doesn’t take much to make you fall. And once you fall, well… it can be really tough to get back up to that highwire. If you ever can. At one point the magazine I was writing for hit financial problems and got very slow about paying. We had a bunch of totally normal “unexpected” expenses—minor car repairs, sick cat, random bank fees. And then just like that… we were falling.

We were below-the-poverty-line poor for three solid years. And whenever I say that someone laughs and says “oh, ha ha, couldn’t afford the latest shiny toy?’ To which I say, no, we couldn’t afford food. We did all of our shopping at the 99 Cent Store. We stole toilet paper from the library when we went there to use the internet. Our phone was shut off. We couldn’t turn the heat on.

We were so poor, at one point Shane-frikkin’-Black offered to sit down with me over coffee and do an interview for the magazine and I had to turn him down. I made up some crap excuse rather than admit I didn’t have enough money to buy a coffee, and possibly not even enough for gas to get me across the city to where he was.

I literally didn’t have enough money to go to work.

Being poor is just ongoing tension. It’s a constant feeling of being trapped and powerless. Of being painfully aware of what you don’t have and what you can’t do. Of having no agency, as some might like to say.

And these days—hell, for the past decade or two—some folks have made it very clear that they judge you because of that. They find you lacking as a person because of your poverty. Because of what you’re unable to do.

All these feelings are even worse at the holidays. Because so much of the holidays is about giving, and when you’re poor you just… you’ve got nothing to give. It doesn’t matter how much you care about someone, it doesn’t matter how much you want to do for them. It doesn’t matter because you’ve got nothing.

And again… you can feel people judging you over it. At every office party or gathering of friends or family dinner. There are folks judging you for being trapped and powerless.

It really sucks. I know. I remember. I’m in a much better place now—thanks mostly to all of you reading this—but I still feel that clench in my gut any time my card doesn’t immediately go through at the register.

So if I can help some of you avoid feeling that gut-clench this season—the low I had to feel for those Christmases—I’d like to do it.

Here’s the offer. If you’re in a bad place and can’t afford gifts for your family or friends, shoot me note at my old business email– PeterClines101@yahoo.com. I’ve got about a dozen random books I’ll autograph to whoever you want and mail out to you so you’ve got something to give this season. Or I can send it to that someone else, if you need it shipped. I could even gift wrap it. No cost, no strings, just me helping you. I’ll send them out for as long as the books last. You can request a specific book but I can’t promise anything on that end. Like I said, random.

Oh, and I’ve got a few audiobook sets, too. The ones that are a wallets of CDs? If audiobooks work better, just say so. I still can’t promise which one you’ll get, but if it’d be better for your chosen person, let me know.

Just to be clear, this offer isn’t so you can recommend someone who might like a free book. You could do that—go get them a book. This is for those of you who need some help getting gifts for others. The people who are cutting back on everything, and feeling trapped because they can’t afford gifts for family or friends.

And look, every year a few folks read this and offer to chip in and help out. I’ve got it, but thanks. And hey, again, you can go be fantastic people all on your own. I guarantee, there’s a toy bank or gift bank or food bank or a homeless shelter or some kind of program within ten miles of you right now that could really use your offer of help–either actual help or throwing them a couple bucks. You could go help out in your own community..

Also… I’m doing this on the honor system, so if you’re just trying to save yourself some money or score an autographed book… well, I won’t be able to stop you. Just know you’re taking a potential bright moment away from someone who really needs it this holiday season and you’re an awful person for doing it. And you’ll probably burn in Hell before Krampus feeds your charred corpse to a squale.

Anyway, please let me know if you need some help.

Happy Holidays.