May 24, 2022 / 9 Comments

It Was Ten Years Ago Today…

And now, one of those quick commemorative posts! Yeah, I know I owe you all a month or so of real posts. I haven’t forgotten. Sorry this has continued to be shoved down the priority list.

Did you know it was ten years ago today that Crypticon 2012 opened in Seattle?

Yeah, I know Crypticon 2022 just ended yesterday. Calendars are funny.

Did you also know I also released a new book at said Crypticon?

The year before I‘d pitched my publisher a zombies on the moon story, but he’d just bought a zombies in space book and didn’t want to do two right on top of each other. So I pitched this other half-formed mystery/ sci-fi/ horror idea I’d been kicking around. He said sure, go for it. I wrote it, he read it, told me it was one of his favorite things he ever seen. He absolutely loved it.

He then also warned me that every book he’d ever picked up that he absolutely, completely loved had bombed. Sooooooo… I should be prepared.

It was supposed to come out in June of 2012, but as a surprise the publisher got twenty copies (maaaybe twenty four???) printed up for Crypticon, where a bunch of the press’s authors were going to be (including Craig diLouie, Jessica Meigs, Timothy Long, Eloise Knapp, and more)

I gave one of those first copies to Kelly Young of Strange Aeons Magazine (and podcast) who was also at Crypticon because I was pretty sure he’d like it. Sold all of them that weekend (except for one I kept for myself). And then the book came out on Amazon and Audible (let’s throw some more thanks to Ray Porter) and, much to everyone’s surprise—me more than anyone else—it turned out to be somewhat popular. So in so many ways this is also the ten year anniversary of when my life turned around, I clawed my way out of poverty, and realized I could make a living telling weird little stories.

Happy tenth birthday to ~14~ , my weird little novel that could. And so many, many thanks to all of you who found it, told some friends about it, and wrote kind reviews about it.

November 29, 2021 / 5 Comments

Cyber Monday IX: The Consumering

I’m not that big on Cyber Monday anymore because it really tends to just direct a lot of traffic toward Amazon. But it’s that time of year where people have too much eggnog and all the skeletons come out of the closet. Uncle Jack hates to admit it, but artists only get to make art because they get paid.  Artists get paid when people buy their art.

So I’m going to ask you to buy some books. And for two or three of them, I may have to direct you to Amazon. For everything else, you should just be going to your local bookstore and asking for a copy. They’re very cool, they could use the business, and this way you’re not one of those conformists sheeple falling for that Cyber Monday capitalist nonsense. You’ll get to brag about that until Valentine’s Day, easy.

So here’s a list of my books and a few short story collections. Please put them on your wish list or get them as gifts for friends and family members.

First up, you could pre-order The Broken Roomat your favorite local bookstore, in hardcover or paperback. It comes out in early March, so really this is a gift for yourself. And kind of for me, because those preorders really impress publishers and help out a lot. I think we’re going to be having a cover reveal any day now…

Terminus is part of the Threshold universe of stories. It’s about a bunch of people who end up at a strange, uncharted island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Chase is running away from things, Anne is running towards them, and Murdoch is slowly coming to realize he probably shouldn’t’ve stopped running. They all start to explore said strange island, their paths begin to cross, and the end of the world begins to unfold around them. It’s currently available in ebook and audiobook (read by the always-fantastic Ray Porter). No paper, I’m afraid, but I may have news about this next year…

Dead Moon is about a woman who runs away to the Moon and finds… well, zombies on the Moon. And some other things, too. It’s spooky and fun and I’m quite proud of it. It’s another one that’s in ebook and audio, but no paper (sorry)

Paradox Bound is my New York Times-bestselling story about infatuation, road trips, American history, a pretty cool train and some pretty creepy antagonists. F.Paul Wilson said it was like Doctor Who crossed with National Treasure, and if that doesn’t get you interested I don’t know what will. There’s an audiobook, ebook, paperbacks, and you might even find a hardcover here or there if you’re lucky. Call your local bookstoreand ask if they’ve got one.

Somebody once described The Fold as a horror-suspense novel disguised as a sci-fi-mystery, and I’ve always liked that. It’s available in pretty much every format you can imagine, and it’s also part of the unconnected “series” of Threshold books.

Several of you found your way here because of my odd little sci-fi-urban-horror-mystery novel–14. Alas, the paperback has lone since gone out of print, but there’s still an ebook and a phenomenal audiobook narrated by Ray Porter (the first project we did together). And there might be more versions in the year to come, but we’ll talk about those when we can… 

Another big bunch of you are here because of the Ex-Heroesseries. Superheroes fighting zombies in post-apocalyptic Los Angeles (and a few other places).  Ex-Heroes, Ex-Patriots, Ex-Communication, Ex-Purgatory, and Ex-Isle. All of these are available in a number of formats and a number of languages.

My mashup novel, The Eerie Adventures of the Lycanthrope Robinson Crusoe, is finally available as an audiobook. Bad news… it also only has audio and ebook versions at the moment. Sorry. Hoping to fix that soon, but I really think the audiobook might be a better format for this one.

I also have a short story collection called Dead Men Can’t Complain.  It’s got a bunch of stories I’ve had published over the years in various anthologies and journals, plus a few original ones.  It’s an Audible exclusive, and it’s read by Ray Porter and Ralph Lister.

You can pick up The Junkie Quatrain as either an ebook or an audiobook (still no paper, sorry). It’s my attempt at a “fast zombies” tale, a short series of interconnected stories I’ve described as Rashomon meets 28 Days Later. It also features a recurring character of mine, Quilt, who keeps showing up in different stories in one way or another… 

Thus ends my shameless Cyber Monday appeal to you.  Again, so very sorry we had to do this, but it really does make the marketing folks happy and they’ve always been really good to me. Also, please check out this year’s list of some of the great books I’ve read by other, much better authors.

And please don’t forget my Black Friday offer if you happen to be one of the folks who may need it.

We now resume your regular internet shopping. Browse responsibly. Clear your history on a regular basis. Especially you, Doug. No, sweet jebus, don’t click on that—that’s not really from PayPal.

And we’ll be back to regular writing stuff on Thursday.

Well, it’s that time again. We’ve made it most of the year, but now I’m afraid I need to shill some books. Lots of books.

Yeah, it makes all of us uncomfortable, but it’s also how I make a living. Which is, y’know, writing more books. And which gives me time to make all these ranty blog posts, some of which are about things you’ve asked me to write about.

So really, all of this is on you.

Anyway, here’s a bunch of things I’ve written that are out there for you to enjoy. Or maybe for you to enjoy giving to friends and family members. So they can enjoy them.

Terminus is the latest book set in the Threshold universe of stories. It’s about a bunch of people who all end up at a strange, uncharted island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Chase is running away from things, Anne is running towards them, and Murdoch is slowly coming to realize he probably shouldn’t’ve stopped running. They all start to explore the strangeness there, their paths begin to cross, and the end of the world begins to unfold around them. It’s currently available in ebook and audiobook (no paper, I’m afraid).

Dead Moon is also about someone running away from their past—a young woman named Cali Washington. And Cali runs all the way to the Moon, where she works as a cemetery caretaker… until the dead start to rise, anyway. Zombies on the moon. Can’t beat that. This one’s also available in ebook and audiobook format.

Paradox Bound is the history-traveling tale of Harry and Eli as they keep bumping into each other and finally start traveling together as part of a fantastic treasure hunt through American history. This is probably one of the most positive, hopeful books I’ve every written, and I’m still ridiculously proud of it. It’s available in pretty much every format you can imagine, and there may even be a few hardcovers kicking around if you check your localbookstores.

The Fold is still a favorite, the story of how Mike, a man with some extraordinary gifts he really doesn’t want, gets dragged into evaluating a government teleportation experiment which goes… well, guess. It’s available in many formats, in many places. Check out your local bookstore and see what they’ve got.

The Ex-Heroes books are the superheroes vs. zombies series that began my career. The ongoing adventures of St. George, Stealth, Zzzap, Cerberus, Captain Freedom, The Driver, The Corpse Girl, and more. Ex-Heroes, Ex-Patriots, Ex-Communication, Ex-Purgatory, Ex-Isle. Available in any format you want, in numerous languages.

14 is my creepy-mystery-cosmic horror-thriller. The book I never thought anyone would like that somehow launched my career up to the next level. If you’re a fan of mine and somehow haven’t read it, all I can tell you is it’s about a guy who moves into an old apartment building in LA and starts to notice some strange things. This one’s currently in audio and ebook formats, but there may still be paperbacks lurking out there somewhere in the world.

The Eerie Adventures of the Lycanthrope Robinson Crusoe – is my attempt at a “serious” mashup novel, rather than just being kind of, y’know, goofy (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I tried to clean it up a lot, but it still hews fairly close to the original, stylistically—consider that a warning some of you might deal better with the audiobook. This one’s currently in audio and ebook formats, but again—your local bookstore might have one of the last wave of paperbacks from a few years ago.

The Junkie Quatrain is a sort of novella/ mini-collection of four intertwining short stories. If you picked up Ex-Patriots as an ebook back in the day, you probably got one of the stories. This is basically Rashomon meets 28 Days Later and its one of those odd little things I’m still very proud of. You can find it on audio or ebook.

Dead Men Can’t Complain is a collection of assorted short stories I’ve written over the past dozen years or so for various anthologies and journals, plus a few extras. There’s zombies, time travel, lizard men, an overprotective ghoul, a noir detective, a lot of creepiness, and maybe a few laughs. At the moment this is only on Audible (and the narrators are amazing), although I’m looking into putting it out as an ebook under my Kavach Press line.

And that’s pretty much everything I’ve ever written. Most of what’s out there anyway. Maybe there’s something you didn’t know about to add to your wish list, or something you really liked that you think somebody you know might like too.

Also, since it’s Black Friday, I’ll also take this moment to remind you of my standard Black Friday deal for those of you who need it. And please—if you need it, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ve been there and I wish someone had offered something like this to me.

Also-also…I’d like to remind you of the other gift you can give authors. Purchases are fantastic, but the next-best thing is reviews. If you enjoyed one of my books, please feel free to throw a few stars and kind words at your favorite online review aggregator of choice. It’d thrill me to no end (and on multiple levels) to look and see a hundred new reviews on Paradox Bound. This kind of things makes books much more visible and helps more people find them. And it’s not just me—all authors feel this way. If you want to spread some joy among your favorite writers, spend an hour some night writing up seven or eight reviews for books you like.

Anyways… That’s Black Friday. I now return you to your post-feasting day of numbness. Be safe. Wear your mask. 

And go write.
October 29, 2020

All Hallow’s Idiot

Halloween is so weird this year. One, because we’re all just exhausted from a year of isolation and stress and way too much death. I really hope none of that death has touched you and yours, but we’re kinda at the point where odds are it probably has. And if that’s the case, I’m so very sorry.

The other reason it’s weird is because we all understand it’s pretty much not happening. Trick or treating’s risky. Partying’s right out unless you’re an idiot.

Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk about.

There’s a certain type of character who shows up a lot in horror, and for lack of a better term, we’ll call them the Idiot. They’re the one who simply refuses to believe zombies are real, even when three people have been killed. They’re convinced the aliens are benevolent and this is just a communications problem that can be worked out. Or maybe they’re convinced *cough*cough* the deadly virus is nothing to worry about. Probably one of the most famous Idiots is Mayor Vaughn from Jaws. On the off chance you haven’t seen the movie—and seriously, what the hell is wrong with you if that’s the case—when a great white shark appears off the coast of his small New England resort town, Vaughn ignores all the warnings he gets from the local police chief and a visiting scientist, refusing to close the beaches.

As you may have heard, this does not work out all that great for him. Or some of his constituents.

It’s worth pointing out most of the time the Idiot isn’t actually ignorant. They’re making a deliberate decision to ignore all this evidence they’ve been given. Maybe it’s because it goes against too many things they believe. Maybe their motivation’s more financial. Maybe it’s about power. But it’s almost always a decision made for personal reasons, not because of lack of actual information.

There’s a reason for that, and it’s one of the reasons these characters sometimes fumble. If someone comes running up to me and says there’s a zombie horde around the corner, I’m going to assume they’re either under the influence or maybe a bit unbalanced. Because zombies don’t exist. Me thinking they don’t exist is completely rational. If a storyteller tries to paint someone like me, in a real-world setting, as the Idiot… it’s not going to work that great.

But…

If there’ve been reports of zombie attacks for weeks, and I saw a zombie take down a guy in the Target parking lot two days ago, and now someone runs up and says there’s a zombie horde around the corner… Okay, now I’m in a bit of denial if I mock them. Because I’ve seen evidence of this already. Lots of evidence.

When an Idiot character doesn’t work, I think a lot of times it’s because of where they’re appearing in the story. There’s only a small window where this character really shines. Too soon in the chain of events, and—as I mentioned above—it makes sense I’m not going to believe in zombies. So being the Idiot early on doesn’t work. 

On the flipside,  if we’re two years into the zombie post-apocalypse, it’s kind of tough for readers to believe someone could still be in denial. Heck, how could they have survived this long? There’s a point where we’ve moved past “denial” and we need to be asking about head trauma and medications.

Y’see, Timmy, the Idiot only really works in that one sweet spot of the greater, overall story. After things could be rationally excused or ignored, but before things are, y’know, in flames. If I try to have this character outside that range, it’s going to be really tough to make it work.

Also worth noting the Idiot tends to be an authority figure. Not always, but I’d guess it’s more often than not. Police chief, military general, senior scientist, politician—these are all common Idiots (no pun intended). From a narrative point of view, this gives their decisions (or lack of decisions) more weight. A waiter deciding he’s going to ignore the CDC zombie guidelines when he makes decisions doesn’t have as much impact as, say, a governor or a senator who thinks they can be ignored.

Now, granted, there are times I’ll have a character in my story who’s just… an idiot (garden-variety, small “i”). There’s always going to be that person who firmly believes zombie vision is based on movement, who crouches down to pat the alien space cobra, or who thinks wearing a protective mask is more likely to get them sick than not wearing one. That’s just kind of the way people are in any society that’s taken off some Darwinian pressure. Some folks are just stupid and they do stupid things.

And while having this kind of annoying character can serve a purpose in the story, we shouldn’t get them confused with that deliberate, capital-letter type. An Idiot can stick around in my story for a while, but an actual idiot… well, readers generally don’t have the patience for them. Not to point fingers, but think how fast most Vince Vaughn characters get annoying. We don’t have patience for idiot (small i) characters because the nature of the story asks us to identify with characters. And really, why would anyone want to identify with an idiot?

But the Idiot… we may not like or agree with their motivations, but we can understand them. Mayor Vaughn in Jaws knows there’s a shark out there. He also knows shutting down the beaches could ruin his small town and it’ll definitely ruin him come the next election. So… he makes a stupid decision. A similar thing happens in my own book, Dead Moon, with Luna City’s mayor, Lana.

Do you have an Idiot in your story? Do they exist in that sweet spot? Or are they at a point where their stubborn denial is just coming across as unbelievable?

Next time… look, you’re telling me too much. Please stop. I don’t want to hear this. TMI.

Until then, go write.

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