March 6, 2015 / 3 Comments

Moor Vocabulary Mistakes

             Many thanks for your patience.  Hope you enjoyed the photo tips while I was off doing other things.
            Speaking of which, I gave you all the chance to suggest a topic for this week and nobody did.  So you all know what that means…
            It means I’m going to ramble on about spelling and vocabulary again.
            Hey, don’t blame me.
            A few times in the past I’ve talked about how a good working vocabulary is the most basic part of a writer’s tool chest.  But I realized today that’s not really true.  Well, not so much that it isn’t true, but that it’s a poor metaphor.
            A much better way to put is that vocabulary is my raw material.  It’s my concrete.  My brick and mortar.  It’s going to be the foundation of everything I build on the page, supporting all the weight of my clever ideas and images.
            Now, that being said…
            It doesn’t take a lot of construction experience to know the foundation of a structure is very important, and the materials I use to make that foundation is just as important.  I’m willing to bet you’ve probably seen a pothole or two because the contractor who built the road used sand as a base instead of gravel.  The sand’s much cheaper and they work exactly the same… until it rains.  I once saw some fast-cheap condos getting built in San Diego and they were using 1x3s for all the interior walls instead of 2x4s.  It’s all wood, right?
            But those are the easy ones to point out.  Anyone can see the difference between sand and gravel at a glance.  The really dangerous mistakes happen when people can’t tell the difference at all.   Balsa wood could pass for pine from a few feet away, but they hold up very differently under pressure (there’s a reason one gets used for houses and the other gets used for model planes).  Concrete and cement may look similar, but they’re two very different materials and not interchangeable at all.
            Heck, I read a big article once about the science of bricks.  It was a huge advancement when people began to realize the correct ratios and heating time bricks needed.  Bricks went from lumps of dried mud to man-made rocks, and human construction leaped forward—from wattle-and-daub huts to cities and pyramids, just like that.
            If I use the wrong material, or the wrong ratios, it’s a recipe for disaster.  We’re not just talking potholes.  This can be a structural-collapse level problem.  Cracks in foundations.  Walls coming down.  Buildings crumbling.
            As a writer, words are what we use to make our foundations.  They’re what holds everything up.  I can have the most amazing imagery, the most brilliant metaphor, the most mind-blowing plot twist, but if the wards I’m basing it on aren’t spilled rite, or jest the wrong words, no won is gong to rake it seriously.
            See what I mean?  You laughed a little bit at that last sentence, didn’t you?  Maybe not out loud, but it got a reaction from you.  And it wasn’t the reaction the rest of the paragraph was leading you to, was it? The whole point I was trying to make got brushed aside because you were knocked out of the flow of reading and started focusing on the mistakes. 
            And laughing at them.
            I don’t want my amazing imagery blown because I used the wrong word.  I don’t want a reader to skim over my mind-blowing plot twist because I wrote they’re instead of their.  And I really don’t want an editor or agent putting my manuscript in that big pile on the left because my brilliant metaphor on page five is making me look like… well, like I don’t know the raw materials of the trade.
            Of course, part of the problem here is that a lot of writers depend too much on their spellcheckers to do the work for them.  See, I didn’t call those words up above spelling mistakes—they’re all spelled right.  Even in the title.  They’re just all the wrong words.  It’s a case of cement where I needed concrete, and neither the writer nor the spellchecker knew the difference.
            Well, okay, I knew the difference.  I did that to prove a point.  But it’s bothersome how many times I see things like this slip by people.
            In fact, here’s a list of all the things like this I’ve seen slip past people.  The word they used… and the word they meant to use. Some were getting paid for it.  Others thought they should be getting paid.  Or getting paid more.
            Do you know what all of these words mean? 

diffuse vs. defuse – You can only do one with perfume.
knew vs. new – The irony on this one was painful…
bred vs. bread – One of these should not involve children.
break vs. brake – I only want to do one of these with my car.
retch vs. wretch – Only one of these is a poor bastard.
fare vs. fair – The taxi driver only cares about one of these.

instill vs. install – Only robots use both of these for emotions.
drought vs. draught – Only one involves a lack of water.
heroin vs. heroine – Two very different things to be hooked on.
breath vs. breathe – One is a verb, one is a noun.
hoard vs. horde – I can only fit one of these in my house.
cologne vs. colon – I don’t like the smell of one of these.

eminent vs. imminent – The Pope is one of these.
drivel vs. dribble – All these rants only count as one of these.
prosecution vs. persecution – One only happens in court.
prophesy vs. prophecy – Only one gets written down
your vs. you’re – If you get this one wrong, you have to leave.
incite vs. insight – Only one of these is usually granted.

juts vs. just – This is sloppy.  Just sloppy
palate vs. palette – Only one is for food and drink.
palette vs. pallet – Only one is for packaged food and drink
patients vs. patience – Gregory House only had one of these.
healed vs. heeled – One of these can refer to money.

            Full disclosure, I screwed up with one of these (but caught it in my last draft before it went to my editor).  Another one I found in a friend’s proof I was reading for a blurb.  And another was in a self-published book (actually, three of them are from that book).  There’s also a few from some entertainment websites, lengthy blog posts, and other places where people claimed they knew how to use these raw materials.
            Now, I’m not saying your spelling has to be 100% perfect.  To save time, it won’t be.  We all make typos.  When we’re in the zone, we’ve all thought one thing and written another.  But when someone comes across multiple mistakes of this type… well, they start to laugh and shake their head. I know I do.  You just did, too, up above.
            That’s why it’s so very important for a writer to know what words mean and how to spell them.  It’s why I need to take the time to go over my manuscript—me, not my spellchecker—and make sure all the words I’m using are the right ones.
            Because I will never, ever get ahead if the main response people have to my work is to laugh at my inability to use raw materials.
            Next time… I’d like to talk about putting a stop to things.
            Until then, go write.
January 30, 2015 / 2 Comments

What’s In Your Arsenal?

            Y’know, while I was pulling links for this post, I realized something kind of amazing (and I’m glad I caught it).  This is the 300th time I’ve posted on this page.  Three hundred ranty posts about characters and dialogue and spelling and structure. Wow.
            I’m kind of surprised we’re all still here.
            But let’s get back to it…
            Odd fact—I’ve probably fired more types of handguns and rifles than anyone reading this.  You might be a firearm enthusiast, you might be former military, you might be in the military now… but there’s a very good chance I’ve got you beat.  I once compared notes with an Army weapons specialist and it turned out I could name almost twice as many firearms than him that I’d used, including a few obscure ones he’d never even heard of.
            The reason why I can do this is all my time in the film industry.  With the different procedural and crime shows I worked on, it was very common to have a new murder weapon every week, along with a red herring weapon and possibly some random thug weapons as well. Pistols, shotguns, rifles, bolt action, lever action, pump, semi-auto, full-auto…  And every one of these that was actually used on screen had to be test fired by me and then by the actors. 
            Even with some common weapons repeating, over the course of fifteen years… I fired a lot of weapons.
            Now, with all that being said, even though I’ve worked with a ton of weapons, I would never consider myself any kind of marksman.  Definitely not a sniper.  Because there is much, much more to being good with weapons then just being able to pull a trigger.  An AK-47 might seem like a ticket to badass-dom, but not if I don’t know how to load it. Or hold it.  Or turn the safety off.  I’ve heard some great (and kind of awful) stories from soldiers about gunfights with people who don’t know how their own weapons work.
            I bet a few folks reading this have an acquaintance who buys nothing but the most expensive, top-of-the-line tools yet still can’t put an IKEA bookshelf together.  Most of us have heard stories about some guy who spends a quarter-million on a car and then wrecks it within a week because “the car outperformed the driver.” Heck, we’ve all seen proof that giving a director access to grade-A actors and millions in film technology is absolutely no guarantee of a decent movie.
            Y’see, Timmy, having high-level tools doesn’t automatically make me skilled.  They’re two entirely different things.  Sure, I can keep jabbing at that bookshelf with my $300 DeWalt Max XR  20 volt hammer drill, but if I just need to tap in a few finishing nails it’s not going to help much. And the parts the drill would actually work for… well, a Phillips head screwdriver would do the same job.  It might even work better, all things considered.  DeWalt’s are great, but they can kind of suck when you need to work in tight spaces.
            Anyway… where am I going with this?
            I’d like to share something with you.  As I’ve mentioned once or thrice before, I used to work on a text-based online game, what some of you might know as a MUD.  Because it was text-dependent, it was a chance for some people to really show off their skills.  Or complete lack thereof.  A friend of mine still works there and sometimes she shares things with me.
            So, check out this sentence…
            (names have been changed to protect the horribly guilty)
“Lashes aflutter like the wings of a satin bird, Phoebe sets glaukosphaerite lagoons on the newcomer, a smirk glissading across twin folds.”

             WTF…

            Now, I was going to try to sift through this sentence and break down all the places it went wrong.  To be honest, I did.  And I had a page and a half of notes, which is a lot more negativity than I want to have here.  So, instead, let me break all of that down into four simple rules for your writing arsenal.
            And yes, these would be rules, not advice.
            Know what words meanIt doesn’t matter how much my reciprocal saw cost if I keep trying to use it as a butter knife.  An elephant gun is not a sidearm.  And diffuse and defuse mean two entirely different things.
            This is the most important of these rules.  If I want to make my living with words, I need to know them intimately.   Not more or less what they mean or a general idea of how they’re used.  I cannot say words are the tools of my trade and then get repeatedly stumped by vocabulary questions on Jeopardy!. I’ve been doing this for many years, full time for over eight now, and I still pick up the dictionary once or thrice a week to make sure I’m using a given word correctly.  Because I have to know what they mean.
            This is also one of the worst rules to get wrong because it’s a mistake that’s hard to catch.  I won’t catch it because, well, I don’t know I’m using the word wrong.  My computer won’t catch it, because computers are idiots and will only tell me if a word’s spelled right, not if it’s being used correctly. Which means the readers will probably be the ones to catch it… and it won’t give them a good opinion of my skills as a writer.
           
            Don’t overcomplicate—Stephen King once said that any word you go looking for in the thesaurus for is the wrong word.  I’ve mentioned a few different versions of this rule at one time or another.  I’m not saying my writing can’t have some clever bits to it, but I should never confuse (or equate) overcomplicating my writing with complexity in my writing.
            If I have metaphors for metaphors (like using lagoons instead of pools because I don’t want to use eyes), I am pushing my audience away from reading and into analysis.  This is the kind of thing that destroys the flow of my writing.  And that’s the kind of thing that gets my writing set aside in favor of something else.
            Know how things go together—Remember that AK-47?  It’s not going to be half as effective after I force a lot of shotgun shells into the magazine.  They’re two powerful items that do not work well together.

            People can’t read my sentences if they don’t understand my sentences.  That “descriptive”sentence up above arguably has five completely different similes and metaphors. It’s spinning in multiple directions. This is when things go past overcomplicated and into full-on incomprehensible.  I need to have a firm understanding of the individual parts, how they’ll be perceived, and how they’ll work as a whole.

            Know what words mean—Did I mention this one already? Well, it’s probably worth mentioning again.  It is the most important of these rules after all.  And the one most people will ignore, because I need to be able to admit I don’t know stuff before I can learn new stuff.
            Have a big arsenal of words because you need it and you can use it.  Not just because you think it makes you look cool.  I can spend twenty minutes looking up glaukosphaerite and making sure it’s spelled correctly (because it won’t be in the spellchecker), but I could also just use green and then finish this whole page in that same amount of time. 
            And more people would understand what I was trying to say.
            Next time, I wanted to tell you about something I’ve felt for a while now…
            Until then, go write.
August 14, 2014 / 5 Comments

There’s Not an App For That…

            Amazon’s Shelfari service sent me an interesting email alert the other day.  It seems their algorithms had found a new character in Ex-Patriots and wanted to let me  know it was being added to the list on Shelfari.  What character had they found?
            St. George of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
            I’d just glanced back at the book recently, so it only took me a moment to figure out where they’d found this.  From page 89 in the paperback version

            The soldier straightened up from the crouch he’d landed in, a move that reminded St. George of Arnold Schwarzenegger traveling from the future in the Terminator movies.

             This is why the algorithm also added characters like “boss,” Douglas Adams (mentioned in a conversation), and my college roommate John who I thanked in the afterword for his technical help on the book.  A computer doesn’t actually understand language and context.  It can go over the book mechanically, looking for specific patterns, but it can’t see these patterns in the bigger picture.  Or the bigger sentence, in some cases.
            This is also a great example of why I would never trust a computer to write for me.
            Yet a lot of would-be writers do trust their computers.  And other people’s computers.  They use subroutines and apps and websites to do all the hard work for them.  They never bother to learn how to spell—or even what some words mean—and just remain confident a machine will catch all of that for them.  It’s the literary equivalent of choosing to walk with a crutch over training to run a race. 
            And it’s hard to say I’m dedicated to being a professional runner when I announce I’ve decided to keep using the crutch.  People will have trouble taking me seriously.  And, speaking as someone who was stuck with one for a while, moving with a cane or crutch gets dull really fast.  For everyone.  Take that as you will.
            I mentioned last time that I was going to bring up some words every author needed to know.  Are you ready for them?  The words I should absolutely, no-questions know if I want to call myself a writer…
            All.  Of.  Them.
            Words are our tools and our raw materials.  Our bricks and mortar.  Our paint and brush.  A surgeon doesn’t use the same blade for everything and a chef doesn’t use the same spices in every meal.  A huge part of the reason we consider people to be professionals is because they know the tools of their trade.  If I want people to consider me a professional writer, I need to know words.  All words.  I need to know how to spell them, what they mean, and how to use them.
            Oh, sure, I can string some words together and argue that people will get most of it from context.  Maybe sometimes I’ll even get an emotional response (the one I was intending).  But this is crude, base communication.  It’s campfire stories that depend on a loud scream at the end to deliver their punch.
            Which brings us, as always, to the list…
            Here’s a bunch of words that sound kind of similar but all have very different meanings.  Some of them are different parts of speech.  Some of them are homonyms.  Some of them aren’t (which is even more embarrassing).  More to the point, a spellchecker will accept all of them as correct… no matter how I’m using them.
            As usual, every one of these is a mistake that I saw in print. They were all in news articles or short stories or books.  All of them were seen by thousands (or is a few cases, dozens) of readers.  In all fairness, one of them is a mistake I made in an early draft that went out to my beta readers and they all rightfully mocked me for it.
            How many of them do you know?
alter vs. altar
balled vs. bawled
Calvary vs. cavalry
censer vs. censor
cruller vs. crueler
explicit vs. implicit
instants vs. instance
manners vs. manors
past vs. passed
wrecking vs. wreaking
rational vs. rationale
packed vs. pact
bale vs. bail
raise vs. raze
phase vs. faze
lamb vs. lam
isle vs. aisle
pus vs. puss
            
            Did you know all of them?  Both sides?  None of these are obscure or unusual.  I’m willing to bet most of you reading this have used at least one of them today.  I think I’m already up to five or six.
            If I want to call myself a writer, it’s important that I know the tools and raw materials I’m using.  All of them.  Because if I’m talking about the rational the bad guys have for wrecking havoc on stately Wayne Manner while Alfred balled his eyes out…
            Well, I don’t look like someone who should be making a living with words, that’s for sure. 
            Next time, I might be a little late while I try to get these rewrites to my editor.  But once that’s done, I’d like to talk a bit about how I’ve chosen to end my latest rant each week.
            Until then, go write.
October 31, 2013

A POINT

I KNOW I SAID I WASNT GOING TO POST THIS WEEK BUT THIS CROSSED MY MIND AND IT WAS VARY SIMPLE SO I FIGURED WHAT THE HECK THESE DAZE ITS NOT UNCOMMON TO SEE SOME PEOPLE CLAIM THAT FORMAT IS IRRELEVANT ITS THE CONTENT THAT MUTTERS SOME OF THEM WILL ALSO SAY PUNCTUATION IF OFTEN UNNECESSARY AND WILL ARGUE AT GREAT LENGTHS ABOUT CAPITILIZING QUOTATION MARKS AND THE OXFORD COMMA THEYRE ALSO OFTEN INSISTING SPILLING AND VOCABULARY ARENT SOMETHING YOU KNEAD TO WORRY ABOUT HOWEVER AS I THINK THIS VERY SHIRT POST SHOWS USING THE WRONG SMELLING OR THE WRING WORD CAN BE VERY CONFUSED ESPECIALLY IF THEIR ISNT ANY OF THE EXPECTED PUNCTUATION TO HELD THE READER UNDERSTAND CONTEXT AND AS FOR FORMAT NOT BEING RELEVANT WELL WHY DID MOST OF YOU PICTURE ME SHOUTING THIS AT YOU NEXT WEEK WELL TALK ABOUT STORYTELLING AND SCREENWRITING AND ILL MAKE SURE CAPSLOCK IS SHUT OFF BY THEN HAPPY HALLOWEEN EAT SOME CANDY AND THEN GO WRITE

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